Starting Again

14 Jun

I am very much the type of person to play it safe. The general life motto is

“Stick with what I know because that means I can’t go far wrong, right?!”

Not a great attitude I must admit…

For me I have never had much direction in life, I started off by wanting to be the lady in the shop who kept all the money – a get rich fast scheme from an early age! Of course one has no concept of business or costs and profits at 5. 

Then over the years, various phases brought various other career options into the limelight, I love animals – what girl doesn’t?! With the weekly episode of Animal Hospital I had set the heart on being a vet!…until that episode where the arm goes up the cows butt and does not even stop at the elbow, maybe being a vet wasn’t for me after all (definitely not). 

The genetic talents of my family deemed me to have an artistic flair and I flourished in GCSE and A Level Art, painting and drawing I found was expressive and exciting but I was always incredibly critical of myself and rarely did I produce anything I deemed as good. My dad was very much a influence on my choices, he always insisted that I must achieve more then he did at my age. As much as I love Art, he always enforced that painting pretty pictures would never result in a sound career with the supportive salary.

Dreams crushed. 

I just didn’t know what to do after that. Through the advice of my Art Teacher I applied for a Foundation Art Course at college, I hoped it would open my eyes to medias and skills i’d not had the chance to work with previously and possibly careers that would utilise and stimulate my creativity.

21848_288438042017_2021173_n

This is me painting in Art at Sixth Form.

College turned me down, I was deemed as too narrow minded as my work showed a small skill set and again I was left with my conscious’ cruel words –

“I could have told you that wouldn’t of been accepted on that course, why did you even bother” …

I picked myself back up and pushed myself to go to uni on the first course that sounded remotely interesting. Needless to say I couldn’t hack it… I had gone to uni for the wrong reasons…lesson learnt!

I have flitted from job to job since, taking what was convenient or paid well but ultimately when it boils down to it what i’ve learnt above all else is you spend the majority of your time at work and the people you work with, if you don’t enjoy what you do then it saps your time, energy and most of all your creativity. Life is far too short to be stuck doing a job you despise with no promotional aspects at 25.

“So do something about it…” I hear you say, well that’s what my boyfriend kept saying too. It’s not as simple as that though, one can’t just wave a magic wand and life will roll over and give you everything you want. I am a responsible person, to me I can’t just quit work to head back into education…i’m not that selfish.  I have responsibilities, bills, a home, a car and lots of other things that require money to keep and make work. Surely I can’t just rely solely on my other half to support me?

“Why worry? he said. Just do something for you, we’ll be fine.”

It’s hard I know, lots to think about but worrying about all the ifs and buts and what not’s is A) going to give me a headache B) make me feel it’s unachievable and C) give me some premature wrinkles…they’re coming anyway, why invite them any earlier then needs be?

So…I did it. I took the plunge. I went for an interview for an Access to Art course and got snapped up by the lecturer!!(Insert cheesy dance here because it totally made my year!). 

I finally feel that this is my time now, time to immerse myself in things I love, reignite my passions and discover new talents. From here I intend to do things properly now, I have seen first hand what kind of industries I could venture into with the right portfolio and skills…certainly there are viable careers for artists!

To anyone who reads this thinking they can’t, believe me you can. When the time is right the opportunities will fall into place and you will find doors open to allow you to make the transition. Whether it be back to education like me, or a change in career, travelling, settling down – whatever…leave the doubt at the door.

I promise you won’t need it where we’re going.

Much Love x

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Starting Again”

  1. roylcoblog July 3, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    Good luck on your artistic adventure! There’s so much in store for you!

    • Little Red July 3, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

      Thank you so much! I really cannot wait!!! I have spent so long doing things that I felt I had to for other people or situations beyond my control that I can’t believe that finally I will get to do something I love day in and day out, I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me!

      Thanks for your kind words

      Ellie xx

  2. Lilliwhiterose (@Lilliwhiterose) July 4, 2013 at 6:07 pm #

    Wow such a brilliant article, well done and best of look on your new adventure! anything is possible you just have to believe xx

    • Little Red July 5, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

      Thank you! I cannot wait honestly 🙂 xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: